Yummmmmmmmmmmmy

Bacon.

Yup, just bacon.

I know what you’re thinking. Holy shit man that is literary genius. I understand you thoughts my friend. In it’s own right the line itself is awesomeness personified. “Bacon”. It’ll probably be ranked along side the great lines of past tomes. “Call me Ishmael”, “Once upon a time”. It’s amazing what joys and horrors the internet holds. I just moog’d opening lines, great books and got 217 millions hits. Now, I don’t know everything (though I have claimed to more than once) but I know there are more shitty lists on the net than great books.

Anyway, I digress. I have tangentially gone where it’s irrelevant. Again. I do that you see. I regularly go to places unseen and that shouldn’t be visited. I do that because I’m a pisshead. It’s sad but true, I can only right this shit when I’m under the influence. I know the word is write, I was just checking to make sure you’re paying attention.

Please go to Youtube. Hans Zimmer, Crimson Tide, 1^st hit, play it. Very loud (remember Dave). What I’m about to say requires suitable theme music. And Mr. Zimmer is very good at what he does. I’m listening to it now and I just got a semi. Listen to that shit. It’s fuckin awe inspiring. Gods probably fuck to a soundtrack like this. Gods ahev good tast in tunes.

Sorry. As usual I’ve been sidetracked by fantasticness. You should be used to it by now. Back to the thingy. BACON.

My Jewish and Muslim friends please stop reading now. Your faith will be tested, strained and eventually broken. This is not my wish. Bacon has the power to do this. It is all encompassing and ever powerful. In the Star Wars universe bacon exceeds the power of the force. So, if your faith is non bacon based I suggest you stop reading now. In fact, if you are a non bacon believer, please fuck off. You and your faith are wrong. Don’t try to get all jihadish on me either cause the bacon believers will hunt you down. Point made.

Just listening to Hot Chip again. Wow. Zimmer is wicked but this is unique.

Fuck me, that’s the longest intro to a pile of shite I’ve ever seen. Don’t expect some Joyce, Tolkien, Douglas Adams brilliance after this, it’s just gonna be my usual shite.

Sorry peeps the jungle drums just started banging. Apparently in my friends warped mind it’s pub o’clock. It’s currently 8:29am. I must away and do my hair and nails. I shall return in the morning and discuss the most important topic ever. Bacon.

Peace.