One malooga

One malooga, four loogas. If you understand this statement you’re smiling right now. If you don’t you may still be smiling, it’s a funny statement. However, your life is incomplete. The Hunchback Hairball of LA (Big Man on Campus) is a low budget, formulaic, B grade (C grade maybe) movie that just manages to hit all the right notes. It’s a cult classic and if you haven’t seen it then sort that shit out right now. It’s stupid and silly but also very funny.

Rent, download or steal it, but find it. Throw the popcorn in the micro, wait for the ding (or less than that if your microwave is awesome) and then enjoy. I hate to build something up this much because it’s doomed, but this is fuckin funny shit. If you don’t enjoy it, never speak to me again. If you don’t know me, grab a .45 and blow your brains out. If you don’t know what a .45 is, throw yourself off a building or under a truck.

Black Sabbath “Neon Knights”

Old school metal from lunatics. Love this tune, best guitar solo ever. My mother once said “that’s got a great beat” so if it worked for an old Irish woman, it works for everything. Listen to it over and over. It’s got fucking dragons!

Coke. Not the Columbian marching powder, the beverage. It’s awesometastic. Black, bubbly, sweet nectar. Sounds a bit like Halle Berry. Tangent. How come there are very few hot black pornstars? Black chicks can be mega hot so why don’t they do more porn? Black ladies, please tell me. Respond via email with plenty of photos and video if possible. Anyway, Coke is truly brilliant. It has a unique taste that’s indescribable, but it still manages to be wicked. Pepsi can fuck off. I don’t care what anyone says, Coke is the shit. Cures hangovers and can make the whole world sing. Shit should be illegal.

I’ll get to the stories later (I promise) but this is just shite that needs to be said. A random collection of verbage that needs voicing. Feel free to skip this part if your bullshit meter just passed 7. I’d skip it if I were you. Trust me on this, this is a shitty bit. Hopefully one of very few, but still a shitty bit. Right now I’m too lazy to write anything proper. Forgive me please. A lack of willpower is just part of my make up. It’s obvious based on my continued smoking.