The title

I’m still not editing this. I have corrected spelling along the way. Grammar is a whole different ball game. I don’t know the rules, I just try speaka da English. If it doesn’t make complete sense then I’ve accomplished something. This is a glimpse into my brain. If it makes sense to you then you’re doing a much better deciphering job then I am! I don’t know what the fuck is going on half the time. And that’s when I’m sober!

Spell check is a two edged sword. It helps you correct simple mistakes by highlighting errors, but if the word is real it lets it go. This isn’t critical usually, but it could be a disaster.

Tangential: “Of, relating to, or along a tangent: "a tangential line".

I go off on tangents all the time. However the following might make more sense.

Tangenital : When someone is speaking, goes off on a tangent and realises they are talking bollox/balls.

That’s from the Urban Dictionary. I shall explore it a little more and come back with some gems.

“Jailbreak” Thin Lizzy. Phil Lynott was an Irish black dude with a tache. It’s a recipe for disaster but in reality it works fuckin perfectly. This guy was a legend. Get the album “Live and Dangerous”. It’s a lesson in rock, a joy to behold and Phil is heard to ask the famous questions. “Anybody here with any Irish in them? Any of the girls like a little more Irish in them?” Of course they would Phil. All of them. I actually used that line on two occasions. It worked once. I should use it twice more. Tonight maybe.

Sobering up now. Just had 2 Cokes but I really need a bacon sambo. And a beer. Life currently revolves around 2 pressing questions.

1. Should I go back to the pub and refuel?
2. Where can I get a fucking bacon sambo?

These are not in order of priority. They are equally important. Right now they are the only things that matter in the universe. I will devote at least one chapter to bacon because it deserves it. If you are strictly Muslim or Jewish please skip that chapter or prepare to be converted. Wiki says “Bacon is a cured meat prepared from a pig”. It should say “Bacon is Awesometasiclyfuckinmegabrilliant shit. Eat it.”

Bacon is my god.

Time to pray, it’s bacon o’clock.