Sunday 26 May 2013

Inspiration

I’ve been trying to write this blog for a couple of years and it is, in a word, hard. I find it difficult to be inspired sometimes even though life throws the best and worst excuses at me. I hang out with a group of people that, if we were focused, could easily be a circus, but in the pub are entertaining, funny, intelligent and ultimately, pissed. They provide plenty of reasons to write and lots of subject matter, but I still find it difficult.

Grace Jones – Storm
This was rejected as a Bond them tune, no idea why cause its fucking awesome. Really loud and don’t think of Grace ripping your dick/tits/other bits off. I love rock music but a huge orchestra beats the fuck outta anything. Horns, strings, big drum thingys, conductory man. I can’t think of anything sexier than a bird playing (well) a violin or a cello.
Last night is a prime example of what I mean. I had two friends telling me to write this shit and I was taking the easy way out. Doing my hair/nails/garden, things, busy stuff, other things, units, bits, busier bits, shite, stuff, world peace and a world record breaking solution to the Rubik’s cube. Faster even than the Lego machine with a phone. And that’s pretty fucking rapid. Anyway, these were my reasons (excuses) and I believed them even if nobody else did.

The amazing part was that a good friend then broke through the bollocks. Not mine, the general bollocks of the evening, and inspired me! Holy fucking strawberries Batman! There it was. A gem of an idea. Inspiration for my next blog post.

It was like a fat man standing in line at Mc Donald’s trying to be inconspicuous. Ie, it wasn’t. I was smiling, the light seemed to be brighter, minstrels were frolicking on the lawn (there isn’t a lawn, but it was that fucking good) the world in general was a happy place to be. I felt like I could stroll into Gaza and say “Alright Paul, let’s go and make the world a better place”. Side bar: Yankees, please moog, football, Gascoigne, mental as fuck, to provide background for this pun.

Anyway, back to the story. So there I was, punching in Da Beers (best name for a pub ever! Don’t steal it) and I was finally inspired. I had a subject, plenty of joking matter to add to it, even had a couple of choice tunes to round it out. It was fucking perfect.

To celebrate this I decided that beer wasn’t enough and I’d kick it up a notch. Not velvet hammer time, but a pint of vodka seemed appropriate, deserved even, and it tasted like nectar. Side bar: Not Yankee specific, open to all, but does anybody actually know what nectar tastes like? I know bees love it, but for all we know it tastes like week old yak shit. Just sayin.

So back to the spiel. There I was, punchin in the beverages, smoking my brains out (remember kids, it ain’t cool), chatting to beautiful women, listening to a wicked band, in a pub I love. Life was sweet. Like nectar I presume.

Vanessa Mae
See! I fuckin told ya chicks with violins rock. And I told you Vivaldi rocks. When you gonna listen to me. (I know I shouldn’t start a sentence with the word “and”, but if it really bugs you get a life and then go forth and multiply)
I would Stradivarius the living daylights outta her!

So I woke up this morning with a spring in my step. I was like “Yay, the world is good, I’m gonna write, and flowers are fuckin wicked”. Made some coffee (tasty shit) lit a smoke and sat down to write. Even the shitty r key wouldn’t stop me.

Unfortunately my brain stopped me. Specifically because I couldn’t remember the fucking inspiration! Doh! Like a big box of frogs, I had no fuckin clue what was going on. So you’ve just read all this shite to get to this part where I point out that it was all in folly. Cue South African accent (Joss Ackland): “Who is the dickhead now?”

So…… that’s basically it. I have no idea what I was supposed to write about, but I managed to write something. And (paying attention?) the tunes were wicked good.
I tried this time to include links to youtube so you could click and listen. No fucking clue if it’ll work, but we’ll know soon.

Final note. Why isn’t it called Moogtube?



1 comment:

  1. Inspiration has enabled you to write this blog. The fact you can't remember the exact source of that inspiration is unimportant....it got you here, funny and insightful as ever, with good music choices.
    Could it have alien connections?
    Nectar, FYI, is found in various places in nature..and has a soft, sweet, smooth taste...a little like good honey....or even a pint of vodka.

    Keep it up.

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